Below is a tongue-in-cheek article written by an anonymous blog reader. It is guaranteed to put a smile on your face.
Thank you, Anon. We needed the laugh.
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Goodreads, US- Almost 2 months ago, local giant book entity Goodreads began enforcing its rules banning public defecation. Area residents have been mad as hell ever since, and they’re not going to take it anymore.
“I’m mad as hell and I’m not going to take it anymore!” shouted top reviewer Manny Beardie, observed as he was taking a crap on a local self-published book. “This is the crappiest service I’ve never paid for!” He then ran off, yelling “Viva la revolucion!”
Similar cries of “Hasta la victoria!” and “Give me liberty or give me death!” and “Where’s the toilet paper? Oh man, did Miranda use it all again?” echoed and still echo throughout Goodreads.
This sounds like a joke, but it’s not. When it started enforcing its rules, Goodreads did not foresee the epidemic of butthurt that would be the result. Emergency rooms, doctor’s offices and walk-in clinics have been overwhelmed by the sudden upsurge in cases.
“Cases of aggravated reviewer butthurt are up 800%” explains local medical professional Dr. Petra X. “These are far more serious than the run-of-the-mill author butthurt we see year-round. Mostly that only affects authors who don’t count.”
Outside in her waiting room, reviewers can be seen waiting patiently with duct tape over their mouths, or alternately wandering around, dropping their pants and howling in rage and pain.
“Their poor tushies” murmurs a nurse to me, munching on some Lindt chocolates. “I never saw it as bad as this.”
But the actual patients are not the only ones affected. There is a palpable sense of betrayal that Goodreads has not protected its reviewers from the vicissitudes of life. “Goodreads was a safe place for me, like a home” says one local resident. “I didn’t expect anyone to just come along and disagree with something I wrote in my own home. Now I feel unsafe, like it’s not my home anymore.”
Local housewife and romance reader Jane, 58, speaks for many when she says that Goodreads did a terrible, unforgiveable thing. Refusing to give her last name, she said: “It’s too bad Goodreads never charges its customers anything, because it makes it so much harder to boycott. I mean, you can still flounce off in a huff and then sneak back in under an assumed name, but it’s just not the same.”
Her friend Kat Ridley is even angrier. “Goodreads provides me a free space where I can practice my favorite hobby, crapping on people and books, and then tells me where and how to crap? It’s not like I’m paying them or anything! You would expect lousy quality from something you paid for, but Goodreads is free! This is an outrage!”
Her words of defiance were echoed by a group of students currently engaged in fighting their way out of a tangled snarl of reblogged blog posts at local cafe’ Booklikes.
“We, like, flounced off and came here, but it’s not the same. There are like, no public spaces where we can find authors to crap on. You have to make the effort to find them yourself.”
“Bummer.”
“Totally.”
“It’s worse than Hitler.”
“Before Goodreads started enforcing the rules, we were getting attacked on a daily basis. Now, we’re still getting attacked on a daily basis. Nothing has changed.”
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Very clever. Love it.
“Outside in her waiting room, reviewers can be seen waiting patiently with duct tape over their mouths,”
LOL!
This bit made me laugh so hard, in fact the whole article is hilarious! I think it sums the whole situation up perfectly. Every time I see people on GR using those silly photos with their mouths taped I cringe for the person. Such drama queens.
Ok we get it, the trolls are annoyed because GR has put a stop to bully reviews that attack authors. If you don’t like if leave, stop talking about going, just go.
This humorous article explains the carry on on GR’s very well, love it.
Oh my goodness, that’s just hilarious. I love it!
PERFECT! Brilliant and truthful and exactly how it is..
It’s doubtful that anyone will ever convince bully trolls that what they do is NOT NORMAL BEHAVIOR, but eventually sites like STGRB will call enough attention to the psycho behavior patterns of these disturbed people, that law enforcement will see it for what it is….criminal behavior by mentally unbalanced individuals that needs to be stopped!!
Psychology’s answer to trolling and online abuse:
http://www.theguardian.com/science/head-quarters/2013/aug/12/psychology-trolling-online-abuse
Hmm, there hasn’t been a peep about this article on the Great Beast’s site, and she’s usually glued to this site 24/7. She’s put up a bunch of the usual fare, attacking authors. What’s funny is that they could serve as a primer for how to create effective, believable sock puppets. You know, like the ones she has.
Ugh, I just went and read her blog. What a waste of time, and a massive, massive pile of crap. Would someone please remind me why we haven’t sued her yet?
Too good!!
This is priceless: a defender of freedom of speech is deleting comments from his review because they’re mean to him:
I wanted to leave this comment here because I’ve been doing my own little sting with one bully reviewer who likes to get freebies and slam authors she doesn’t like with reviews that don’t even make sense. She waits to get the free books, downloads them, and then leaves bad reviews in order to sway customer opinion without even talking about the plot or the characters. And in case it’s ever made public, I wanted to leave a comment here to prove I’ve been doing what I’m doing as an experiment and trying to set this bully up so I can bring her down in the long run and make her sorry she decided to screw around with the wrong person this time. I can’t go into anymore details at this point. I just wanted to put it in writing that I’m doing something undercover to prove how some of the more subtle bullies work and I’m waiting for her to break so I can really go after her.
A post is needed about the book written by the bullies.
It violates #3 in Lulu Membership Agreement and Terms of Use: “You represent, warrant and covenant that (i) you own or otherwise possess all necessary rights with respect to your Content, (ii) your Content does not and will not infringe, misappropriate, use or disclose without authorization, or otherwise violate any intellectual property or proprietary right of any third party, and are not unlawful, fraudulent, threatening, abusive, libelous, defamatory, obscene or otherwise objectionable, (iii) you will abide by the Content Policy and Guidelines posted on the Site, and (iv) you hereby consent to the use of your likeness, and you have obtained the written consent, release, and/or permission of every identifiable individual who appears in your Content to use such individual’s likeness, for purposes of using and otherwise exploiting the Content in the manner contemplated by these Terms (including for purposes of promoting the Site).”
In other words, “libelous, defamatory” content is NOT allowed. I have already reported it, and so has another author [or two].
Please report this book http://www.lulu.com/shop/gr-reader/off-topic-the-story-of-an-internet-revolt/ebook/product-21289610.html At the bottom of the book page, there is the option to report the content to Lulu, along with the option to choose “libelous/defamatory content” or something to that effect.
If we work together, we CAN get this garbage removed.
It’s specifically “privacy violation/defamation” option in the complaint report. That is what you need to choose to report the book.
Book is gone for the time being. Lulu listened.
Check out the bba group on booklikes. They’re preparing for an all-out assault on this author:
Angela is even threatening to stop reviewing indies on her mega-successful blog! That’s awful! How will indies survive?? (snark)
Princess, that link is down. Who are you talking about?
It was a link to a photo on Ainicka Phoenix’s facebook page. She has apparently posted an apology now. Here is the Asshats group thread that talks about it http://booklikes.com/thread/216/asshat-updates
Miranda just posted a screenshot of my post. Those beatches are OBSESSED with this site!
Make no mistake, they are on this site twenty times a day looking to see if anyone has said anything about them. You know, it is hysterical, but it’s also very, very sad that these people have a real and dangerous personality disorder. I doubt that the people around them are aware of the dangerous personality they might be dealing with in these cyberstalkers.
It’s only a matter of time before they explode into something even more dangerous such as the criminals you see daily on t.v. who commit crimes based on obsessions with other normal people. Cyberstalking has underlying brain disorders for sure.
OMG! As soon as you posted my comment, Angela posted another! LOL!She is OBSESSED and CRAZEEE! I think it’s killing her not knowing who I am so she can come after me! LOL!
Now they say they know who I am! I is skeered. I is vewy, vewy skeered.
😆
Ok, I’ll stop ;o)
We should all keep posting on here with different aliases so it’ll drive her more nuts trying to figure it all out. Maybe she’ll short circuit and her head will explode?
One can only hope.
Found another AH sock:
https://www.goodreads.com/user/show/26113077-diana-shagport